On Favorite Albums and Moving On from 2023
The roads that led up to finishing 2023, and the albums that got me through them.
2024 has finally arrived, but I don’t really feel it. It’s likely because in many ways, this time in 2023 was one of great transition. To talk about my 2023, I also need to talk about my late 2022. My mom had started seeing a new man after splitting up with my stepdad over the summer. He ended up stealing all of her money and flew off 2 months later. I felt powerless and scared and anxious and to be quite honest, I don’t think it’s something I’ve quite fully recovered from. In the aftermath, I started at my job to help the family financially recover from the losses. The same month I started my job, my stepdad died from lung cancer. Me and my stepdad never quite had a great relationship, and his relationship with mom was also very rocky, but she was still gutted. 2 months later, my apartment complex was condemned by the city, and without great rental history or credit, finding an apartment was a major struggle. We got one, but it hasn’t been the easiest sailing after nearly getting evicted over housekeeping issues and keeping a cat. It’s also the smallest apartment my family’s had since I was born, and the lack of space is suffocating.
This is certainly an odd shift after everything else I mentioned, but in terms of my hobbies and special interests, everything was in flux over the last year too. I had intensely followed the relaunch of video game and pop culture TV channel G4 since its 2020 announcement, and grown incredibly attached to not just the shows themselves but the talent producing them and especially the fervent, loyal community spawned from it. It was a community that got me more comfortable making friends online, becoming a personality and being more open about myself. Then the network shut down, a week before I started my job. While the community itself was strong and many of them moved together to other platforms, following what the hosts and creatives did next, I still felt like a piece of myself had been lost. Something that was so all-consuming to me had vanished. November 18 was the night the G4 community was gathered around watching the last moments of the cable feed, a sort of second goodbye to top things off, but I was admittedly not all there. Something else had lurked in.
Around 8:30 that night, my favorite idol, Okada Nana from AKB48, had found herself in a dating scandal with an actor she shared a stage play with that year. It made headlines and broke idol twitter for days. 5 days later I woke up to a notification from Nana, saying that she would be leaving the group. While the recent personal events in my life had made me feel more numb to this than I would’ve been otherwise, I still woke back up that morning with a massive pit in my stomach. I walked to work that day shaking and feeling like I would vomit any second. It wasn’t because she was dating somebody. Unlike a sad many in that space, I didn’t feel any possession over my favorite idols, and who they dated was of none of my concern. Her leaving AKB however, felt like a sad culmination of the years I had spent as an idol fan. To see my favorite, the one who got me invested in not just her group but the culture as a whole, feeling like she had to leave the way she did because she was dating someone, was a terrible feeling.
Going into 2023, my interest in Okada Nana still remained strong, while my interest in AKB48, and Japanese idols in general, had begun to deplete. AKB was rocked by 30+ members leaving or announcing their leave that year, several of them also being my favorites. It was a combination of this, alongside my musical tastes shifting and many of my other favorite idol groups having either disbanded, gone quiet or had massive changes in membership, that left me feeling tired and disillusioned. 2023 was a transitional year for me because so much of my life was so utterly different from what it was just a year before. In 2022, I was spending my days waking up at 10am watching Asian game shows on G4, listening to tons of j-pop and catching up on anime mostly thoughtlessly in a 2-bedroom apartment. In 2023 I’m a constant anxious wreck shoved in a 1-bed who goes to work 4 days a week before trying to unwind with Cartoon Network shows and posting about whatever the new DIY emo discourse is on Twitter. At least this year, I made some actual offline friends. I actually had my first friendly outing with someone and went out to eat and watched the NCT concert film with them! In those ways, it felt like the first time I ever felt like a proper adult.
What stuck with me the most throughout all of this was music. My tastes had changed, sure. Indie music has been a staple for me my entire adult life so far, but this year had me pushing much of my attention towards emo. I found plenty of promising young bands this year both sticking to more purist fourth wave revivalist sounds or expanding their sonic horizons towards other areas while keeping them under the broader emo umbrella. My interest in pop had also shifted, from j-pop to fully exploring k-pop. I have had a blast with k-pop this year, finally diving in deep to a genre I’ve been casually invested in for the better part of half a decade. While only one k-pop group shows up on this albums list, there’s been plenty of fun comebacks alongside a few strong debuts to back them up, so I’ll have a playlist of my top favorite k-pop songs up in the next few days after this goes live as well. Now that I’ve gotten all my trauma out of the way and get to hold off paying for therapy for a couple more months, here’s 10 albums that got me through this odd transitional phase of my life.
Parannoul - After the Magic
I was in love with Parannoul’s last album To See the Next Part of the Dream in 2021, and this next album is a strong evolution of his sound. On After the Magic, Parannoul steps away from emo lyrically while his combination of shoegazing, post-rock and dream-pop feels more widescreen than ever. It’s a truly *realized* record, where so many of the big swings land. Lead single We Shine at Night is truly a highlight, continuing to grow on me with every listen. This album is the sound of a snowstorm on a bright day, and as someone living in a place where almost half the year feels vaguely like winter, it’s great to have another reliable standby to warm me up during the coldest days.
Favorite Songs: Polaris, We Shine at Night, Arrival
Spanish Love Songs - No Joy
Spanish Love Songs were a band I knew about for a little while, being entrenched in emo scenes this past year. I knew they had buzz and goodwill leading up to this album, but never got around to their work until now. No Joy was one hell of an introduction. The band tones down the pop-punk for heartland rock and even some new wave influences paired with some of the most anthemic, soaring hooks you’ll find this year. Much of it is incredibly bleak songwriting, but yet in the little cracks, you’ll find hope there. Needless to say, I hope we get another record with this sound from them again soon, because this turn is excellent.
Favorite Songs: Clean-Up Crew, Lifers, Middle of Nine
Home is Where - The Whaler
The Neutral Milk Hotel comparisons Home is Where have gotten since their 2021 breakout I Became Birds are a well-worn trope by now, but The Whaler feels like a *journey* in the way little else has since I heard In the Aeroplane Over the Sea at 17 years old. So many vivid pictures and ideas fill this record, from the ghost of Dale Earnhardt to gender dysphoria to society pushing past tragedy without fully comprehending it. Everyday Feels Like 9/11 was a song that gave me chills like nothing else did this year the first time I heard it. It’s in records like these that prove the future of emo is in good hands. Home is Where forever!
Favorite Songs: everyday feels like 9/11, nursing home riot, daytona 500
Okada Nana - Asymmetry
There is no way this wouldn’t show up on this list. In fact, for those who know me (and by that I mean take one good gander at my twitter account), they’re probably shocked that this isn’t number 1 with a bullet! 2023 was just that kind of year! Okada Nana’s solo debut takes j-pop and rock sounds I thought I was tired of and breathed new life into them. I think a lot of that has to do with the vocals. Nana is an absolutely incredible vocalist, and they’re not afraid to show it off here. What also helps this album really stand out are the lyrics. Above anything else, this is truly a singer-songwriter record. The thoughts and emotions on display here feel ripped right out of her private mail messages from her days in AKB48 and as a soloist, at times very dark and introspective with a dramatic delivery. Between those personal lyrics and wearing her anime song and Vocaloid influences on their sleeve, this is a record only Nana can make. With their various health struggles at the moment alongside touring and other activities, it could be a long while before we hear new music from them. When it does though, I’ll be taking a front row seat.
Favorite Songs: Koe wo Ushinatta Ningyo Hime, “Arigatou, Shiawase ni Natte ne”, Saran
NewJeans - Get Up
When NewJeans burst on the k-pop scene in 2022, I was at first intrigued but never fully committed. I thought their debut was alright, even though I was never comfortable with Cookie, but then OMG and Ditto came out last winter and I was bowled over. Those two songs were a bright light in an otherwise dark and miserable time in my life. Get Up half a year later was what truly converted me into a fan, however. There was a lot of discourse this summer around the feeling that there wasn’t truly a “song of the summer,” but I couldn’t disagree more because the bubbly Super Shy was it! From the MV to the choreo to the most addicting hook of the year, Super Shy as a single really had it all. The rest of the record continues on the trend, hooky, atmospheric and extremely well-produced pop with incredible vocals that sounds like nothing else in the industry at the moment. It’s safe to say that after this EP, I really get the NewJeans hype now.
Favorite Songs: Super Shy, ASAP
Gorillaz - Cracker Island
Despite the streaming juggernaut the Bad Bunny collaboration Tormenta became, this was a record that definitely went under the radar as far as Gorillaz releases go. While I do understand why, with the long drip feed rollout lasting almost a year, it’s a shame because the final product is still pretty strong. It’s not as concerned with being as sprawling or as strong conceptually as Demon Days or Plastic Beach, instead settling on a tight tracklist with a consistent synthpop sound and smaller scale. And it works! These songs are bangers! Tormenta is a chill reggaeton track with wonderful production, Tarantula is one of the most infectious and colorful songs in the group’s discography, and even the sleepier deep cuts hit like the dubby Tired Influencer. Even if Cracker Island isn’t a game-changer, it still makes me happy to see the animated band on new adventures.
Favorite Songs: Tarantula, Tormenta, Skinny Ape
As a sketch pad - as a sketch pad (LP)
As a sketch pad was a group I almost didn’t think would ever return. A fantastic EP during peak lockdowns in Spring 2020, and then nothing. The members went separate ways to their other bands. Out of nowhere however, lead single Now On was silently dropped on streaming one day in September 2023, and a new full album surprise dropped several days later. The wait was truly worth it. While the project falls just shy of 20 minutes, it’s just enough time to expand on what made their EP so great. These are straight-ahead songs that swerve between brooding introversion and melodic ragers. Now On makes me wanna spin kick towards the closest object more than many actual hardcore songs do. In a landscape where promising young emo bands continue to push genre boundaries and experiment, these guys know that sometimes simpler is better.
Favorite Songs: now on, vault it, what do u know?
Palette Knife - New Game Plus
Don’t let anyone tell you emo is dead. If they do, show them this. Palette Knife are the perfect halfway point of third wave FuseTV emo-pop and twinkly fourth wave emo. I heard Avatar the Last Cakebender the day it came out and it turned me into an insta-fan. It makes a strong case for the album as a whole too, because it’s funny, horrendously catchy, with the whole band running like a well-oiled machine. Palette Knife truly steps their game up from their debut album on this, and it makes a strong case for them becoming the next big thing, not just in the DIY scene they inhabit but the rock world at large.
Favorite Songs: Quotients, Avatar the Last Cakebender, Weekend at Tony’s
Slaughter Beach, Dog - Crying, Laughing, Waving, Smiling
Jake Ewald and his crew do it again! Slaughter Beach, Dog returns as a full studio band after 2020’s great lockdown record At the Moonbase, which saw Jake recording mostly by himself at home. Crying, Laughing, Waving, Smiling takes the magic of Slaughter Beach, Dog in its most polished form. Some of their strongest melodies are put to tape here on tracks like Summer Windows, while also never forgetting to tell memorable stories with their songs, like on penultimate song Henry. While Birdie will likely continue to be their most popular, this record I believe could truly be their masterpiece.
Favorite Songs: Summer Windows, Strange Weather, My Sister in Jesus Christ
Blur - The Ballad of Darren
Is it cheating to put a Damon Albarn-led record on here twice? Possibly. This album is so incredible however that I can let myself slip just this once though. It’s so good to finally hear from Blur again after 8 years. For Damon in particular however, it’s been a rocky few years since then. From the lockdown, to losing best friends and musical partnerships in Tony Allen and Terry Hall, to splitting with his long-time partner, Damon’s had a rough go at it to say the least. These feelings of loss coalesce into The Ballad of Darren. It’s an excellent meditation on the end of relationships, a matured take on some of 13’s themes. It’s very mellow for a Blur outing, but several points such as the wavering guitar leads on Goodbye Albert or Far Away Island’s waltz rhythms still feel very much like the Blur of 30 years ago crawling back. This album has only grown on me more and more over the months, firmly settling itself down as my favorite of 2023 by the end of it. A fantastic example of a band easing gracefully past middle age, an album sounding like nothing else in their catalog while still feeling familiar, a legacy act leaving the door open for future possibilities while leaving a satisfying note to end things on if they so wish.
Favorite songs: Barbaric, The Heights, Far Away Island